The Secret Behind J is looking for J

~J is looking for J~

...

Most people who follow this blog have realized the origin of J is looking for J - it's an inside joke from the manga 100% Perfect Girl. However, they would have also realized that I never truly explained it, and it's about time that I did. So here's a little insight:

Some people are consciously looking for an individual who understands us on a really deep level - perhaps someone who shows and teaches us new things, things that even we don't know about ourselves. Some people are simply searching for another soul to be with - to either dispel the loneliness of our single, solitary voices or to provide support, warmth and company.

Other people are unaware of this inherent, all-encompassing search, though they are still an active participant in this process. A few individuals are lucky enough to have already found someone who fulfills and inspires them to achieve what would have been the impossible.

In our search, we look at the people around us, but we always encounter the same problem - that the person we're searching for isn't there. There's nobody even half-decent, nevermind anyone we can consider our "soulmate". So what do we do? We wait. We wait for that someone to walk down the road, bump into us and hopefully find us just as perfect as we find them.

But if we thought this through rationally, we'd be stumped by the first question. Can fate bring us our destiny so easily? Shouldn't we be out there, actively looking for something to fill that inexplicable hole within us?

And this is where J is looking for J comes in. I don't want to be just waiting. I want to be searching; looking for it. Js are synonymous letters. I can replace the first J with anything - my name, your name, a number, a picture, or an expression of myself. And the other is like the first J - a simple parallelism that would make this sentence complete. It's weird to think that the name of a simple blog can be considered in such a way, but it's a reminder for me to always keep my eyes open. I don't want life to pass me by while I'm half-stuck in dreamland.

Then there are people who read this and think - how can we define fate or destiny or luck or karma or soul - searching? Isn't life just a big coincidence? There are no coherent thoughts; no shackles we can possibly clasp onto intangible substances.

Well, let me ask you: Wouldn't this world - our lives be so much more interesting if we thought otherwise? That someday, our search will be fruitful? That in our search for someone else, for a definition, for a purpose, we might be able to discover something more about ourselves and humanity?

I believe, without a doubt, that life would be much more interesting.

- Annie

100% Perfect Girl

I found it fitting to use my first post to describe the origin of the name of this blog.

It's inspired by the manga 100% Perfect Girl by Wann, and the manga took root from the short story On Seeing the 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning by Haruki Murakami.

Simply put, Jarte (a boy) is looking for Jay (a girl). What more is there to say?

Both stories feature a poignant love story that delves into the notion of love at first sight. I've never really believed in love at first sight (I have been appropriately distressed at Shakespeare for so deeply entrenching such a superficial concept in our society with his Romeo and Juliet). However, I looked past this blight to gather what both authors want to leave us with - to never pass up a chance when some innate, incomprehensible gut feeling tells us to go for it.

I think this is what the name of my blog is trying to convey. It's a bit more than the quickie of "bam! bam! I've fallen in love!" but rather the discovery of who we are based on the relationships we form with those around us.

...Or you can just say that I liked the feeling of inspiration that I got from reading J is Looking for J across the billboards of Seoul (Ok, by this point, you really need to have read the manga and short story to know what I'm talking about).

Anyway, don't get me wrong with my obstinate stance regarding love at first sight (many people have tried to convince me otherwise with tellings and retellings of 90 year old couples whose eyes met over a crowd of other eligible singles) - I'm actually quite open to different ideas.

I think there can definitely be a sense of attraction between two people staring each other down or passing by on the way to the supermarket. But to this day, I still don't believe that it's enough. An initial infatuation with the other person based on appearance and stance is not something I'd consider love. I don't believe you can judge another person in his/her entirety based on one lofty look alone (not to mention tres jaded by shallowness). I think considerable time is needed to find out more about the person, and learn to love him/her.

Those instances where true love occurred in the sizzle of electricity conducted by the momentary glance between two people? Coincidence. Attraction is the foundation of love. But it's not love.

The two masterpieces (in my perspective) have caused me to spend a considerable amount of time commiserating over the fact that nothing I draw or write would ever match up to such ingenious talent and beating myself over the head for procrastinating on my American History essay.

Either way, they're great reads for inspiration, or when you have some free time.

I have sidetracked from my original topic. After establishing the origin of this blog, I wanted to go into detail regarding its purpose.

Plain and simple: to discuss literature.

I am an avid reader and writer (have you noticed that the word "avid" most commonly appears with "reader" or "writer"?). I spent the week before exams browsing through mangas and novels. It has become an obsession that that I cannot (and probably will never) get over. All in all, it's a good thing. Reading makes way for writing, and that's something I need to catch up on with this blog and Pantomime.

Pantomime has become my high school baby. I started it on Saint Patrick's day as a sophomore and it is now approximately 30 pages from being finished (I'm currently in line to be the new generation of seniors at my school). I am unsure whether to deem this 300 page fantasy romance a tremendous achievement or a horrifying nightmare. It certainly fits both categories at times. My free days this summer shall be soaked with my endless typing and editing for this story... so I will leave this topic for a later time.

About the blog: raves and reviews are my thing. I guess I'll be focusing mainly on my current reading list, but I am also totally looking forward to discussing awesome books I've read before. There are definitely some books that have defined my literary career (which is nonexistent, but nobody needs to know) and have influenced my writing a great deal.

Signing off,
Annie

Ps. Take a look at this.